on the cusp

one of my favourite feelings is delicious anticipation and i'm enjoying it in spades this morning. having written six exams since last monday, you cannot imagine my sheer delight at being left with one last MCQ paper tomorrow. so this pre-conclusion is way yummier than the actual conclusion, because it goes downhill from there and it's crystallisation means there is one less thing to look forward to. 

i don't mind studying, it's something i've been accustomed to for the past decade. yet it borders on surreal that this might, quite possibly, be my last exam ever. and i just want to linger here, in this amiable place of knowing it's the home stretch and i'm almost done. methinks i'm more in love with the idea of being finished with this final exam than with being done itself. isn't that funny? to be more enthralled by the idea of something than that something itself. which is why i always get so annoyed after a good meal because i know it's over and the experience is unlikely to replicate itself; for you can only discover something once. rediscovery is overrated.

then again i'm loathe to be one of those empty people living from experience to experience. because there is so much good in the everyday that you miss by living in expectation of the next big thing. that said, this blog is largely about the big things, the backpacking i'm trying to squeeze under my belt in this final frontier of pre-work freedom. been very fortunate to have had so many shots at this 'pre-work freedom' i think my friends are tiring of hearing me use it to justify the escapades i've made these past eighteen months.

first there was south america ("last time travel so far and for so long before final year") but then i went on exchange ("last time to party before final semester" and "if i don't explore europe now, it'll be too far to return to in the future." machiam 21st century continental drift...) followed in quick succession by a few short jaunts during final semester ("last time to relax before final exams" come to think of it, i might've hazarded a take-home exam in hoi ann because hey, if i could take it home then i could also very well take it to vietnam!),  then there was the great grad trip ("last time i've a long holiday. done with school! taking off for two months. will be somewhere in europe! bye!") and then i was a shameless parental parasite whilst on full-time course ("if i don't explore the region before i start work, when will i get the chance again?") and now i'm almost done with my professional exam, i realise that recently effected changes herald a two month break compared to two weeks in previous years (but i didn't know this when i used my "last time i've a long holiday" excuse for grad trip) between my last paper and the start of work. so hellooooo wanderlust, my old friend, perhaps this is really the last time i can use my "last time" excuse. but i sure hope not ;)

so this morning has been a good one and after tomorrow i will be footloose and fancy free till february 2011, at the very least. there are things to do, places to be and people to see but it's really quite delicious being able to relish the thought of TWO WHOLE MONTHS of sheer freedom. i could do anything! being young and being free is pretty darn amazing. peter pan syndrome ftw!