dear upper respiratory tract infection aka URTI, whilst you may have a cute sounding name, you've gotta agree that thrice in less than three months is really excessive. isn't time you pick on someone else? my stuffy head and pressured eyeballs need a break.
dear abnormally huge adenoids and tonsils, please prepare yourself for eviction. once i can take a fortnight medical leave, you will have to find a new home. if i'm feeling charitable, you may move into a glass jar of formaldehyde on my desk. the parents have told me i breathe through my mouth (embarrassing but true!) because i used to swim, but having just found out after two decades that my breathing impediment is owing to your sheer girth and inconsideration, it makes a compelling case to have you removed once and for all.
dear granny, thank you for the pots and pots of barley water you've been leaving at my door. any more and i will begin to germinate.
dear work, i have enjoyed you very much post-trial. please remain kind and gentle, for i quite like being able to take the bus home at night.
dear mass rapid transit, please feedback to the powers-that-be that cash payouts are great and i'm all for the extra $$$ in my bank account. but surely, a well-functioning, non-heart-attack inducing daily commute isn't too much to ask for? after all, i was on that train, in that very carriage, and if i wanted to live in a third world country, i'd move to london.
dear weekend, alas we didn't have time to get acquainted but thank you for little mercies like not having to work. and i suppose being able to sleep at whim is a luxury not afforded to every sickie out there. also, i'm very happy you're extending to three days next week :)
inspired by today's letters.
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